I love words. I use many words to express myself, even when much fewer words would suffice. Given this I was completely stumped when one of my friends asked me to describe God in one word. An impossible task! No one can possibly pack the many attributes of God into one word…..but if I were to make some feeble attempt at doing this then I would choose the word life-giver. Not merely life-saver or life-enhancer, but the giver of life itself.

God breathed life into all aspects of my being: body, spirit and soul. Physically, He rescued me from the pits of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (‘OCD’). Spiritually, He healed my spiritual blindness and helped me to see that I was created to worship Him. Soul-wise, He fixed my broken relationship with Him through the person of Jesus; so that I can have life and have it to the full. But it hasn’t always been like this. I remember a time when it was a struggle to get out of bed. I remember a time when I wondered whether life was ever going to get any better……

The big turning point in my life came when my family and I moved to Australia. In addition to the usual hiccups associated with settling into a new country, several accidents occurred to myself and close family members which left me very destabilised and insecure as an eight year old; this contributed to the onset of OCD in my life. The experiences of an OCD sufferer are difficult to put to paper. I can only describe it as seeing the world through dark coloured glasses. Any streams of happiness heading my way were stripped of its colour and beauty before it reached me. I have one distinct memory of this stage of my life. It was a sunny afternoon and I was on a much anticipated holiday to Queensland. My family and I were at Movie World, and instead of hugging animals and taking pictures with Bugs Bunny as most eight year olds would do, I was sitting on a bench crying because I thought I had contaminated the swing that I played on. An absurd and perfectly illogical thought to most people, my parents included. But perfectly logical and worrying thought to me at the time. These episodes repeated itself throughout my life. Nothing that anyone else did or said would make me feel any better. On the surface everything in my life was going great, but deep inside I could not escape the despair that I felt.

It was at this low point in my life that I first became aware of God working in my life. He worked through my aunty and uncle who had become Christians and they invited me along to Sunday School at their church. I have really fond memories of rugging up in the wee hours of the morning, being tucked into my uncle’s car as we travelled to the hospital where he worked his early morning shift, before heading off to church together. It was on the table of the hospital canteen where I did my Sunday School homework (as I breathed in cold air, and struggled to keep my eyes opened!) that I met God. Through the pages of His Word, I came to know my creator. I began to understand why I still felt a hole in my life even though the circumstances in my life were going great: it was because my deepest need, which was to have a relationship with God, had not yet been met.

Just like everyone else in this world, I was faced with a choice. I can continue living as I had been, doing my own thing and ignoring God or I can submit to God’s rule in my life. That’s when I made a choice to pray with my Sunday School teacher. In my prayer I told God that I was sorry for having sinned against Him and for ignoring Him. I thanked Jesus for dying on the cross for me and for rising to life and conquering death so that I did not have to suffer God’s punishment. I also thanked Him for the certainty of knowing that I am forgiven and that I can have life with God forever.

Fourteen years down the track now, I can confidently say that God has removed my dark coloured glasses. Whilst I still struggle with insecurity and with being a pedantic person, I am no longer in the situation that I once was because my deepest need has been met. God has given me life and I want nothing more than to live as He wants me to. Psalm 18:16 – 19 is one of my favourite passages in the Bible because it speaks of what God has done in my life: He rescued me from the depths of despair. He did what no one else could do.

“He reached down from on high and took hold of me;

He drew me out of deep waters.

He rescued me from my powerful enemy,

From my foes, who were too strong for me.

They confronted me in the day of my disaster,

but the LORD was my support.

He brought me out into a spacious place;

He rescued me because He delighted in me”