When you read the story of Jesus, when you actually follow the life of this amazing man who was also amazing God, when you follow the teachings and insights of Jesus Christ, we cannot help but see that to Him, the big deal wasn't about the songs we sang, or the things we discussed, or even the way that we jumped during praise. 

To Jesus, the big deal seemed to revolve around the concept of how we related to each other, how we loved each other, the kind of friends that we were. 

It's weird to me, I thought Jesus would talk a lot about theology and philosophy and ideology, but at the end of the day when you boil all of His teachings down, as you read and focus in on the red words, time and time again He kept talking about this concept of friendship and relationship and loving one another.  To Jesus, the thing that was massive on His agenda was the way in which we all get along. 

It's a simple message.  If you turn to John 13:34, you see Jesus speaking saying a new command I give you, pay attention, focus in, I'm gonna make a very important point that I not only want you to hear, but I want you to live out!  This is not a suggestion, but a new command that I give to you!  Anyone who wants to be considered one of mine, you'd better listen up because a new command I give you – love one another.  As I have loved you, so you MUST love one another.  By this, all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.  In other words, this will be the distinguishing marking feature as a Christian person, it won't be how nice you are, or how big you smile, or how rich you are, or how smart or blessed you are, but the way you love one another.

This is a new standard of friendship.  I don't know if I'm weird, but when I was in primary school, I used to put my friends into a friendship ladder, and I had a 1st best friend, a 2nd best friend, and a 3rd best friend.  Anyone ever go down that kinda line too?  For some reason I rolled in this way, and the friendship ranking was always interchangeable.  Depending on what was happening in our relationship, depending on what kind of friend they were being, it would determine whether they sat as 1st, 2nd or 3rd best friend.  If Luke came to school with a Vegemite sandwich, and he gave me half of it, for that day Luke would be my first best friend, and during lunch you'd explain to your friends where they sat within the pecking order:-

"Luke right now, you're my 1st best friend, Shannon you're my 2nd pest friend and Neville you're my 3rd best friend!"

And the day after Shannon would give me a birthday invitation, and all of a sudden Shannon was my 1st best friend, and Luke had been knocked back to 2nd best friend, and Neville was still my 3rd best friend.

Suddenly the day after we'd be hanging in the schoolyard, and because I grew up in a rough school, sometimes there'd be a bit of heat and tension and the kids would start throwing slaps at each other.  There'd be a fight, and I'd get up into the mix, and because Neville was big and he'd step in and throw slaps for me and back me up, I'd sit down after, check it out and say:-

"Neville, you are now my 1st best friend!  Luke you're my 2nd best friend and Shannon you're my 3rd best friend!"

Shannon of course would ask how he went from being 1st to 3rd best friend, and I'd tell him that he had to be 3rd because that Vegemite sandwich that Luke gave me was soooo good!!!

Usually we grow out of this official titling after primary school, but this stigma often stays with us all throughout our lives.  Even to this day, though you might not physically say the same things, so many of our friendships and relationships are based on what people can do for us, what people can give to us, how people make us feel.  "Because you are rich, and I am poor, I will be your friend because when I'm with you I feel rich."  "Because you are cool and I'm not cool, I will be your friend because when I'm with you I feel cool."  Usually the way we do "friendship" in the world is what we can get out of the situation.  In reality, that's how you and I actually roll.  Think about your friends, why are they there?  Are they there because they're difficult and you're trying to reach out and love them, or are they there because they make you feel comfortable and cool?  I'm not hacking on anyone, I'm just making a general observation, that in general, the world standard of friendship is "what I can get and what my friend can deliver". 

The bible makes it abundantly clear that as a disciple of Jesus, as someone who wants to live out a life with the fullness of the Holy Spirit, we cannot conform with just a worldly standard, but a new standard of friendship, a higher standard of friendship, a richer standard of friendship, a Jesus standard of friendship!  You have to get it into your spirit that when Jesus said "a new command", everyone dropped what they were doing because at this point, Jesus was their personal teacher, but very rarely would He make a new command.  This was a new, emphatic, fullstop command, Jesus saying "I'm giving you a new command, you can't debate it, you can't argue it, you can't reason it away, if you wanna be one of mine, I'm giving you a new command and you'd better live this out!  Love one another, connect, relate and be friends!"

Here's the interesting thing – "love one another" was not a new command.  Up to this point the bible had already commanded "love one another".  The new part and important part was the part "as I have loved you."  Jesus was saying "You've heard it all before, but you've been able to filter out what it means to love someone and to relate with someone".  Jesus took away our ability to determine what friendship meant to us.  Just as Jesus is a friend to us, that's the way we're supposed to be a friend to one another. 

Jesus' standard of friendship is more about what you can give, what you can deliver, and what you can be to someone else, than what you can get.  I want to implore you, listen to what Jesus is saying. 

The question begs, what kind of friend was Jesus?  This needs to be something that you actually let into your spirit, because if you allow it, it'll change the way you live your life.  This is the amazing part, if it changes the way you live, it will actually affect someone else's life! 

Number one, Jesus was an engaging friend.  John 1:14 says that Jesus, who was the word, came down in flesh to Earth and made His dwelling amongst us.  He wasn't just some concept, up in heaven with all the angels singing "Hallelujah!", but someone who came down in human form to grab your life!  He was the one who said "You know what?  I refuse to let mankind bump around in the darkness by themselves, but I will shed My heavenly robes, take on human form, humble myself, become a servant, so that I can come down and reach out with my own hands!"  He didn't send an angel, but he came down Himself to grab your life!  I'm asking you to, when you see someone lonely, walk over, say hello and shake their hand!  I'm telling you, you can sing songs and preach until the cows come home, but you'll have people coming into the church who say "I've been here for a while, but I haven't made any friends, so I don't think I'll be coming anymore."  The responsibility doesn't sit with just the pastor, or the leadership team!  It is not only their deal, it's your deal!  You can be the most world-transforming movement in the history mankind, but you need to get this into your spirit - if we don't get this, we will go nowhere as a youth ministry!  I'd rather have people every week asking everyone else whether they're new, how long they've been coming, how they're doing, don't sit alone, don't sing alone, come and hang out with us tonight!  I believe that anyone looking vaguely lost will be jumped on, will be mugged with love in a Jesus kind of way!

Number two – Jesus was an accepting friend.  I love how Jesus, as He walked through life, accepted everyone!  It didn't matter if you were a stinky fisherman, a tax collector, an outcast, a blind man, a demoniac, it didn't matter because if you came to Jesus, He'd be down for you.  Listen to me, we've all got cliques, whether they be social, cultural, economic, even fashion cliques!  Come on, I'm speaking honestly here.  Anyone would have to be blind to not notice that even in church, we're a whole bunch of small cliques.  And you know what?  In a big place, there will always be people who you find more comfortable to hang with and naturally gravitate to, and that's fine, cool and natural.  But don't let it be a barrier to making a connection to people outside your interests!  You might be part of the chess club, every night you're dreaming of chess, every waking moment you're thinking of chess, and your with the chess posse, rolling around looking all bad with your chess boards in your bags!  Love your chess, enjoy your chess, may you see many awesome checkmates!  But at the end of the day, don't let your interests be a barrier or wall that stops people from getting in!  You know what, I just dream of the day when a uni student rocks up with a high-schooler who they don't know well, and they'd converse, and through that, they'd add so much to each others' lives.  It's amazing how you can become such a good friend with someone totally different from you if you can just be an accepting friend.  I dream of the day when I see a bunch of Asians, and a bunch of white folk, running to each other with open arms! 

Number three!  Jesus was an encouraging friend.  The gospels are full of examples of Jesus speaking encouragement and building people up.  Jesus said to Simon "You've been called a reed in the past, who gets blown around by the wind, but I wanna tell ya, you're now Peter, you're a rock and on this rock I'll build my church!  You used to be weak, but now you're strong, you used to be flimsy, but now you are firm, you used to be all over the place, but I'm tellin ya now Peter you are the man!"  You see, Jesus spoke great love and encouragement into peoples' lives.  Look at John 14, 15 and 16 where Jesus was talking to His disciples before He went to the cross to die for our sins.  Those three chapters are full of Jesus saying "Guys I love you, and I know you're stressing!  But let peace reign in your heart, I'm here with you, I'll never leave or forsake you!"  He spoke life into people!  He spoke so much encouragement into his original crew that those people turned around and felt like they could change the world, and the fact that you're sitting where you are proves that!  Ephesians 4:29 says don't let any unwholesome, useless, rubbish talk come out of your mouths, but only speak things that will build others up and encourage others!  We need to learn that our words are powerful!  They have the power to build up and tear down, the power to give life, and destroy life, the power to make someone feel like they're on top of the world, and the power to make someone feel like they're six feet under.  If we want to be the friend that Jesus called us to be, don't gossip, tease or backstab, only speak things that will encourage people!  Could you honestly imagine a youth group, where you knew that the people around you only wanted to say life-building things to you?  Where you'd walk in and people would say "Hey how ya doin?  You been working out, you look great!  How'd you do in that exam?  I was seriously praying for ya, even fasted at breakfast for ya!"  You know what I'm saying?  A place where you knew that you would walk in like royalty!   Don't bow to sarcasm!  Be a community that is focused on building each other up so you can all be everything you were destined to be in Christ Jesus!  Could you imagine a community where it was guaranteed that someone feeling down would come out lifted up, a community where people racked their brain about all the wonderful things they could say about you and actually said it?  Jesus wants us to be encouraging friends.

I earnestly 100% guarantee you that the kingdom of Jesus will continue to forcefully advance and bring healing, enjoyment, life, joy and peace to our generation if we would just love one another as Jesus first loved you. 

I want to challenge you; will you love one another as Jesus first loved you?  Will you go out after youth group, and not run to find your group of friends, but to go up to someone you haven't met or don't know well and shake their hand?  Would you do that?