It's a hot topic, and there really isn't any other area which causes quite as much pain or suffering.  But don't fear them, they're natural, they're fantastic, and they're God-sent.  How do I know that?  Because God Himself in essence is a relationship - He is Father, Son and Spirit - they are three in one and there is an intimacy about them, and as human beings created in His image one of the marks of our being is that we desire intimate relationship as well.  So if you're aching for a relationship, don't fret - God made you that way.

Unfortunately our entire generation has been infected by impatience.  We used to have dial up, but that wasn't good enough, it wasn't fast enough!  So now we have ADSL, cable, and even now we get annoyed when it takes a few seconds to download something.  We don't want to wait in line anymore, so we have 15-item express checkouts at Safeway!  That means that we sometimes force the issue when we should let things go.  Just a few things to keep in mind when considering a relationship.

#1 Slow down.  Don't rush anything - it is so much easier to get into a relationship than to get out of one.  To paraphrase, "I like you, you like me, let's get together and do what happens naturally" doesn't work.  We were made to make balanced decisions in our lives, especially concerning important decisions.  That's why, when God commands us to love Him with all our heart, mind, soul and strength, He is asking us to make a fully-committed and balanced decision to follow Him - at the end of the day, your relationship should be a reflection of your relationship with God.  Don't rely merely on your heart, because we know that the heart is deceitful beyond all things! (Jeremiah 17:9)  Relationships are unfortunately one of those few things in life that can throw your decision-making process completely off-tilt - when you're only listening to your heart, it drowns out any sense your mind is making, which means you don't have the strength to make the right decision and it risks your soul.  Make a decision with all your heart, mind, soul and strength, neither to the absence of the other, because God made you that way.

#2 Are you headed in the same direction?   When you choose to have a relationship with someone, you need to consider if there are any imbalances that exist.  Don't lie to yourself - getting closer with someone doesn't solve problems with disconnection - if anything it intensifies the pressure and enlarges the problem.  Don't be afraid to admit that you don't vibe on the same level.  It takes nerve to say "You know what, there's nothing wrong with her or me, she's a great person, and I'm a great person, but there are important things that we just don't vibe on."  

#3 Do you connect spiritually, emotionally and intellectually?  Do you understand what they are feeling, do you know what is going on in their heart?  Do you find the things they say interesting, and are you yourself interesting to listen to?  Can you tell them the kind of prisons you feel that you're in?  Can you pray for one another?  Is God at the centre of your relationship?  If the relationship is only about the two of you, then there's bound to be heartache because the stability of the relationship depends solely on the feelings you have for one another, which will constantly change on a given day.  When God is at the centre of your relationship, you know you have a sound foundation because you're basing the relationship on a person who never changes. 

#4 Dating was made to help you determine whether you should marry someone.  Things work out well when you use them for their intended purpose.  An electric saw was made for cutting wood, but it can also be used as a doorstop.  If you have little kids running around the place, there's bound to be trouble.  

#5 Do you like looking at them?  Do you connect physically?  God wants nothing but the best for you, so He's at least going to provide you with someone who you are physically attracted to.  

#6 Are you a whole and complete person in your own right?  Though there is some truth in the Jerry Maguiare phrase "You complete me!" if you only feel totally and utterly complete with that other person in your life, you're heading down a very dangerous path.  Self-worth is determined between yourself and God, and not what others can give you or feel for you.  People want to feel special and important, and sometimes the girl or guy is but a trophy.  Are you using the relationship to fix another problem in your life?  It won't work - it merely hides the problem, not fixes it.

#7 Seek wise counsel.  Don't just go to your girl or guy friends, seek someone who will actually be truthful with you.  Don't ask people who themselves are unhealthy in their relationships.  Ask a parent, a LifeGroup leader, someone who is older than you.  Actually listen to what they have to say.  Be truthful, don't dress the situation up in "they're beautiful, witty, smart, funny, blah blah blah blah, what do you think?"

#8 Do you like each other evenly?  This is more of a practicality issue.  Don't force the issue - it's hard enough making a relationship work when two people want it, but it's well nigh impossible if only one person wants it.

#9 What will the kids look like?  Can you imagine the two of you growing old together?  Do you have a vision for the future of your relationship?  If the relationship is just for the "here and now" it's bound to fail.  Proverbs says plans fail for lack of vision.

Just some small things to think about.  It's not like you have to say "sorry, you didn't tick that box so you kinda don't pass!" but at least consider these factors.  Above all, trust that God will provide the things that you crave for.  When we put the kingdom of God first, all these things will be added unto our lives.  It's interesting that as Christians we often find it easy to say "I'm believing for God to provide me with the perfect job" or "I'm believing for sufficient finances", cars and houses - when it comes to relationships, all of a sudden we find it difficult to believe that He'll provide for us.  Though sometimes we don't say it, the way we live our lives kinda shouts "I don't believe that God has the very best planned for me" so we try to manouvre and shape a situation so that someone will be interested in us.  It's almost like we believe that God is dangling the carrot out in front of us and relishing it every time we trip over and don't reach the prize.  If you understand God's heart as your "dad in heaven" who wants the absolute best for you, who wants to bless you tremendously, then you'll understand how much God wants to reveal that very person He has in mind for you.  When the word says that God has ordained each and every one of your days before any of them came to be, that tells me He's very specific, and something as big as your life job or relationship isn't something He forgot about or accidentally left out.

Have a ponder.